How to Get Your Ass Out of Bed

My running/blogging pal Chelsea over at The Dancing Runner recently wrote about how much she loves getting up early, which led me to think about how I love it too, which led me to write this post.

Some of you may not be morning people and do your best work at night. That’s great, and you should keep doing that if that works for you. For those who want to be morning people but struggle with it, here are some tips.

Disclaimer: I’m single, have no kids, and don’t have to work late nights. If that’s not the case for you, it’s understandable that some of these tips might pose a challenge. This is just what works for me. Feel free to take from it whatever you can.

Title "how to get your ass out of bed" of a dark room with a lit room outside the door.

1. Clean up the night before.

“But what does that have to do with getting up early?” you ask. I don’t know about you, but I really like walking into a clean kitchen in the morning. It makes everything feel calmer, easier, and less stressful. If I had to face a pile of dirty dishes every morning, I would associate getting out of bed with having to do chores. No thanks.

Instead, entering my spotless kitchen makes me feel happy. I have literally sighed with joy at the sight of an empty sink. If I can associate getting out of bed with positive emotions, I’ll be more apt to get up.

2. Go to bed earlier.

This is a no-brainer, and the biggest change you can make to get your butt out of bed. I struggled with this for years.

Not having a television helps a lot. With television, there’s always something on next. With Netflix, you have to actively choose what to watch, so it’s easier to make the choice not to press play. Having a set time to turn off the TV is key – maybe an hour or 30 minutes before you want to be in bed. This includes social media. Your second cousin’s toddler’s outing to the space museum looks adorable, but you can comment on the pics tomorrow.

Set aside 15-30 minutes to read instead of watching TV and I guarantee you’ll be asleep before you know it.

3. Wake to a sound you actually like.

For the past few years – almost ever since I got the album – my wake up alarm has been David Bowie’s song “Blackstar.” I spent all of high school and college (and years after) waking up to a jarring “eh-eh-eh” sound from a clock radio, sending me from a peaceful slumber to feeling like I was having a heart attack within a split second. If you have a way to set your alarm to a song, it’s a much gentler way to start the day.

Pick a song you love that’s not so relaxing you’ll sleep right through it, but not so loud it’ll jolt you out of bed like a bucket of ice water. I like “Blackstar” because it starts with a few seconds of soothing sounds before the percussion kicks in, and I’m usually awake by that point.

It’s a really great song.

David Bowie Blackstar screenshot of song on phone.

4. Don’t bring your phone in the bedroom.

“But,” you begin until I interrupt with a firm “No.” Just don’t. You don’t need it. Get it out. Out. I charge my phone in the bathroom overnight (I know I know, you’re not supposed to do this but I like a full charge in the morning), which is just outside my bedroom door. I turn up my volume so I’ll hear my alarm with no problem.

Keeping your phone outside the bedroom also doesn’t ensure your eyeballs remain fixated on a glowing rectangle of light at the same time your brain needs to relax.

5. Don’t have your alarm within reach.

As written above, if your phone is your alarm, put it outside the bedroom but within earshot.

If you have an alarm that isn’t a phone (I still have a soft spot for clock radios, my old one currently sitting atop my fridge like an old fossil in a museum display), don’t keep it next to your bed. Essentially, you want your body to get up and move in order to turn off your alarm. Once you’re up and moving, it’s harder to roll over and go back to sleep.

Screenshot of two alarms on phone.

6. Brush your teeth and wash your face.

Another benefit to keeping your alarm in the bathroom: as you turn off the alarm, you’ll be standing near your sink. So you might as well brush your teeth. Once you’ve wiped my face with a towel, you’re AWAKE, baby.

Not only do I have an overwhelming urge to do this first thing, brushing my teeth and washing my face honestly does wake me the heck up. So I highly suggest doing this. Especially if you have someone to kiss. Truly the most disgusting part of any romantic relationship is being kissed before brushing your teeth in the morning, but that’s just me. I’d rather eat garbage from underneath a NYC subway seat. Speaking of which…

7. Eat something.

This is a totally subjective thing – everyone has different opinions about what and how much they like to eat first thing in the morning, so of course, do what works for you.

I spent many years not (or barely) eating before my runs, and I slowly started eating more and more until finally discovering the perfect formula. Eating first thing makes me more energetic and less impatient on my runs, and it just makes running or working out feel less exhausting.

Knowing that I’m going to eat immediately without having to wait for my run to be over makes me genuinely excited to get up. In case it wasn’t already clear, I love to eat!

Bowl of steel cut oats with fried egg on top.
Trust me, it’s delicious

8. Get a dog.

I realize not everyone has the ability or even desire to do this, but being in charge of a creature who relies on you in order to eat and pee truly helps get you out of bed in the morning. I guess having a kid accomplishes this, too (from what I’ve heard).

I’m certain I would get up early regardless of whether or not I had a dog, but it’s a good incentive. I walk MacGregor before my runs, which gives me a nice, gentle warm-up as well as time to digest my breakfast.

Golden retriever standing on leaves outside.

9. Learn to love the peace of mornings.

I love quiet. Mornings are quiet. I love that. It’s so nice to be awake when most of the world is still asleep. It makes me feel weirdly powerful, like I know things that others do not.

10. Have a really good reason to get out of bed.

I mean, of course. That’s the whole point. Why do you want to get up early, anyway? Is it to run? Go to the gym? Write? Meditate? Make beaded necklaces for your Etsy shop? Whatever it is, make sure it’s important to you.

In my case, I really want to be as strong, as healthy, and the best runner I can be. That alone is what drives me to get out of bed in the morning. Make sure you have something you really want. As you make it a habit, hitting snooze and going back to bed won’t even seem appealing – what you want is out there. Not in your bed. Unless you design those beaded necklaces in bed. Then it’s fine.

Let me know if you have any other tips for getting up early, alarm songs, breakfasts, or anything else. Good night. I’m going to bed.

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