When You Gotta Go…

I’ve been doing so much lately that I haven’t even posted about yesterday’s run. It was one of my slowest runs of the past few months. But I was okay with that.

Before I get to that, please enjoy some pics I took during the first snow of the season (on Long Island, anyway). I normally post nice pics on instagram but I’ll post some on here too every now and then. I can do what I want!

For anyone interested, those were taken with a Nikon D810 with a Nikkor f/1.4 50mm lens and edited in Lightroom.

Now, for Tuesday’s run.

As usual, it was pitch dark when I left in the morning. Normally I’m fine just wearing my reflective vest straps and using street lights and headlights to guide my way, but this was after the first snowfall, and I was worried about possible slippery conditions in my path. So I carried a small flashlight. It’s really lightweight and has a clasp where you can hang it on your belt, or leggings, which is what I did after the sun came up. And I’m glad I had it too, because there were sections of sidewalk that hadn’t been cleared all that well. Luckily I was fine and stayed upright throughout my run.

So I was already running a little slower than normal due to my precarious footing, but there was another reason I wasn’t my usual speedy self.

I had to poop.

Runners, you KNOW what I’m talking about. I hope this isn’t grody to discuss but I want to be honest on this blog and talk about things that really happen IRL! Let’s keep it real, or, as I have only ever written but never said out loud, keep it 100.

I try to go first thing in the morning – and I’m usually successful. This morning, however, I was not. So… I had to go.

Sometimes I get the urge on a run, but it’s temporary. This morning, it was more than temporary. It got to be uncomfortable. To the point where I had to stop and walk for like 10 to 15 seconds. Don’t judge me, I said in my mind to passing cars. I’m not tired. I just have to poop. Stories of runners who had pooped their pants during a run flashed through my mind. Please don’t let it happen to me, I prayed to no one in particular – and even if some all-powerful spirit was in the ether, they’d have more important things to attend to, like preventing war, curing disease, and seeing that someone invents calorie-free donuts.

I am happy to report that after a few uncertain moments, I spent the run poop-free.

It was scary, though. Jesus Christ. At least I run along a lot of wooded areas, should it ever come to that. Which I hope it doesn’t. Especially if it’s freezing. Yee-ikes.

When I got back home, I looked at my pace: 10:02. I laughed out loud. A year ago this pace would have thrilled me. Now it just looks weird. I wasn’t upset, though. I knew I’d had good reasons for not PR’ing on this particular morning.

And sometimes, I think it’s okay to slow down. It probably even helps.

Anyway, I didn’t have time to take a post-run picture (as I had other things to, uh, attend to) so here’s a pic I took on the train platform of me stretching my hip flexors as I waited for the train into the city.

Now, about those calorie-free donuts… who can get on that?