I Do It For the Bagels

I either have the slowest-forming cold in history or just a weak 48-hour bug that will go away tomorrow. Or seasonal allergies. Or my bedroom rug just needs vacuuming. I’m still not sure which. But it’s something. My nose wasn’t as bad this morning but my throat was a little scratchy. Still, after I walked the dogs I felt like I could handle a 4.3-mile run. I had wanted to do 6, but settled on 4.3 as I was not feeling quite up to snuff.

I think I just need more sleep. If I could just get ONE night of like, 9 straight hours I’d be great. But that would require me going to bed at 8pm, which ain’t happening.

So I ran feeling a little under the weather. Not terrible. But not great. I would hate to have had a big race this morning. I actually ran pretty fast at first, mainly because it was still dark out and I had to run on the wrong side of the road to avoid a garbage truck and then I figured I’d stay there and run on the sidewalk which is wonky and I just wanted to get the hell off that road – so I booked it, doing something like an 8:50 pace for the first mile. After that I consciously slowed down.

I also sweated a lot.


I’ll be honest: the main reason I wanted to run this morning was because it’s Bagel Day at work and I wanted to burn a bunch of calories. Every Friday at work we get a whole assortment of bagels in the morning, and they are enormous, and I always want one. It’s my Friday indulgence. My bagel of choice is cinnamon raisin with peanut butter. I also like everything bagels with butter. Cream cheese can go straight to hell. But I will eat any bagel. I am not a bagel prude. I’ll take the bagel you offer me, and gladly.

I spent years guesstimating how many calories bagels are until recently, after some deep interweb sleuthing, I came to the conclusion that bagels are 80 calories an ounce.

The bagels we get are large. They weigh 7 to 8 ounces. I know this because I brought one home once and weighed it. For anyone too lazy (or afraid) to do the math, that’s 560 to 640 calories a bagel. That’s a lot. BUT IT’S OKAY. I usually make up for it with a light lunch and less snacking throughout the day. It’s all about balance. If I were to write a diet book, I would literally just type “It’s all about balance” on the first page and then “The end” on the next page and sell it for $19.99. But yes, large bagels are that many calories. You can stop guessing. Now you know.

So here’s to the 500 calories I burned this morning. Thank you, body, for pulling me through. I did it all for you, cinnamon raisin bagel with peanut butter. I did it all for you.


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